Pre-amble to Touching on Deep Feelings

So, this turned into a story about how I became friends with someone named Natalie. This was supposed to be a short introduction to a post, but turned into one of it's own. I will do another post on my feelings, but I think I will leave this as a explaination of the friendship that we developed, and the a dedication to the journey we have taken together. I think our paths crossed for a reason, and I am so grateful that they did.

I have this friend, and she is an amazing woman, but a different kind of friend for me. Most of my friends and I spent significant amounts of time together in the "hanging out" stage, and we grew into close friendships through time spent together. Well, my friend and I went through quite the stage together in college called "the hell of being an RA" (this could be a post in itself). She suffered along with me just one floor above me, and through this closeness in location and sharing this part of our lives we got to know each other. This closeness lasted only one school year and through this she was 1) an architecture major like my future husband which takes LOTS of work time away from your home base 2) Engaged to a (at that time never met) military man... and September 11th had happened just the year before and this combination REALLY threw a wrench into their wedding plans, so she had the planning of an ever changing wedding on her hands and 3) We both had the obligations of our position to attend to, plus I was often hanging out with my relatively new boyfriend at the time, Tim. So, we did not have the kind of time together that I had with my other friends to get to know each other, yet, somehow we became fast friends. She was, and still is an almost always positive kind of person who laughs easily and lives openly.

Well, one night (which turned into a few) we got to talking, and our Moms journeys came up. My Mom was suffering the degenerative brain disease from her cancer and radiation, and her mom was working through her journer with breast cancer. I was immediately touched by how SOMEONE FINALLY understood how I felt about this whole thing, and how we could laugh and cry together. Our friendship was officially cemented. I got to meet her Mom and see where my friend's internal light seemed to come from, and Tim and I got to go to her wedding that summer and I got to see the culmination of so much stress and work on the part of this friend. She was beautiful, SO happy, and SO very much in love. I also finally ment this so-called "fiance" of hers, although I think he met and saw so many people that day that he would never have know I was there. Lol, I have since gotten to know this so-called "fiance", now husband of hers and I can see that he was well worth the effort of the wedding. Anyways, the point is that after these short few and busy months of becoming friend, she went and got married and decided to move to California. I was bummed to "loose" someone I had felt such a connection to, and someone who taught me "Everyone needs a little red in their closet" which I think is quite practical on the clothing level and also quite philisophical if you think about it.

Okay, now fast forward a year.

The summer of 2004 I was engaged and planning our wedding. We had everything planned and most everything picked. Then, in August, my Mom lost her battle with her brain disease and passed away. I was about to embark on the most difficult journey of my life, and it was only 4 months until our wedding. My family changed, my life changed, my whole world changed, and I subsequently changed. I questioned everything in my life, somehow came out the other side and 4 months later we were married. Unfortunately my friend was unable to come, but they sent their love (and a great gift!)

Now, fast forward a few months.

I got an e-mail saying that my friend's Mom had lost her battle with breast cancer and had passed away. Everything came rushing back to me, our nights up talking and crying about our Moms, her Mom's smiling face, the feelings of loss for my own Mother, and I was so sad for her. I can only say that this is one of those experiences I DID NOT wish to share with her (or anyone). I got to see my friend again, sadly it had to be at her Mom's memorial service. It was a beautiful rememberance of a beautiful woman.

Now, fast forward a few years.

I am a few months pregnant with my first and my friend has a picnic while she is in the state. Well, Tim and I were in the northern country anyway (not that she wouldn't be worth the treck all on her own) and went to the picnic. It was like we fell back together like no time had passed, we got to hang out with her family and her husband and eat fried chicken (yes, the pregnant part of me remembers) and have a great time. I left thinking how much I had missed this friend, and although I wished her all the best, I wished she lived closer. Miss smarty pants, however, had decided that she would move from California to New York for some graduate program thingy at this little placed called Cornell, so whatever.

Now, fast forward a couple years (wow, we're getting old!)

I get another message that miss smarty pants and her hubby are going to move BACK TO COLORADO!! (happy dance happy dance) For some reason they decide that Denver is going to be their new home (okay, I admit, there are many more job possibilities for an architect in the big city, snicker snicker, and they did find a cute house, and they are right between us and our in laws, so it works) Oh yeah, and they are located just a few minutes from Water World, so after a trip there the summer after Laura was born we went and spent the rest of the afternoon with my friend at their new place. I was so excited we would be able to at least see each other more than once every couple of years.

Now: And it is true, we have been able to see each other a few times, and I know I will continue to make the effort cause she's awesome. What's even better, my friend started a blog, so now I can bloggy stalk her and find out more about what is going on in her life. Yay for the internet age!

Now, if you want to know where this post is going, continue on to Touching on Deep Feelings